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As if being the parent of a teenager isn’t enough, we also have to help them learn how to have a healthy relationship with food. This can feel like an uphill battle when our society is entrenched in diet culture. With so much focus on body image and health, it’s no wonder why food is constantly on their brain.
I think many of us would say that we love food. Food tastes good, creates memories, provides comfort, and is entertainment. However, there is a line that gets crossed when you go from enjoying food to food obsession. Food obsession can easily spiral into harmful eating behaviors, but with the right support, your teen can embrace food freedom.
What is Food Obsession?
At its core, food obsession isn’t just about loving food or having a hearty appetite; it’s an all-encompassing fixation that can skew one’s relationship with eating, leading to behaviors that range from restrictive diets to binge eating. This fixation can be deeply entwined with emotional and psychological well-being, making food a source of stress rather than nourishment and enjoyment. It’s an intense preoccupation with food.
Signs of food obsession include:
- Your child is thinking about the next meal or snack before the current one ends. Despite their best attempts at pushing away these thoughts, they can’t help but go back to thinking about food.
- Frequently looking at recipes, food blogs, or cooking shows
- Fixated on calories and counting macros
- Feeling anxious in social settings for fear that they can’t control how much they eat
- Difficulty focusing on school, relationships, or work due to fixation on food
- Negative emotions for eating something they deem as “unhealthy”
- Intense cravings for specific foods
What Fuels Food Obsession?
Mental Restriction
Among these underlying causes, mental restriction stands out prominently. It’s a deceptive cycle where the mind sets boundaries around what and how much to eat, often leading to intense cravings and a pendulum swing between restriction and overindulgence. Your mind may tell yourself the food is “bad” and “forbidden” but you will physically eat the food, only leading to feelings of guilt. This mental tug-of-war not only exhausts the mind but can severely distort one’s relationship with food.
Food Insecurity
Similarly, food insecurity introduces a layer of anxiety around food availability, pushing us towards an obsession with obtaining and consuming food, even in the absence of physical hunger. It’s a survival instinct gone awry, where the fear of scarcity can persist even in the presence of plenty.
Family Dynamics
Food obsession can be a result of how your child was raised around food. According to a comprehensive study, parents who utilized food as a reward or regulated their children’s food intake for health reasons during the ages of 3-5 had a higher probability of their children using food to cope with unfavorable emotions later in life compared to the control group. Developing a dependence on food as a source of comfort at a young age could potentially affect one’s susceptibility to developing a food addiction in the future.
When food is dichotomized into “good” and “bad” within the household, it plants the seeds of food obsession early on. Such categorizations can lead to guilt and shame associated with eating “junk food”, and an unhealthy preoccupation with adhering to these imposed food rules.
What is Food Freedom?
Contrastingly, food freedom offers a mindful and balanced approach to eating, where food choices are guided by internal cues of hunger and satiety, personal preference, and nutritional needs without the shadow of guilt or compulsion. It’s about reclaiming the joy of eating and recognizing that health and pleasure can coexist on the plate. Food freedom encourages the exploration of foods with curiosity and gratitude, stepping away from the rigid dichotomies of “good” versus “bad” foods that fuel obsession.
Signs of food freedom:
- Understanding that eating can and should be an act of self-care, not a source of guilt or anxiety.
- Giving yourself the grace to enjoy meals without the heavy chains of judgment or the fear of repercussions. It’s about trusting your body’s intrinsic wisdom to guide your food choices, recognizing that nourishment extends beyond the physical to the emotional and psychological realms as well.
- Enjoying a variety of foods
- Innate ability to listen to and honor internal hunger cues and feelings of fullness rather than letting external rules from diet culture dictate eating habits
- Enjoying the eating experience in social situations without the anxiety about what to eat and how others will perceive it
With food freedom, teenagers learn to dismantle the barriers diet culture has built, replacing them with pillars of self-esteem, body positivity, and a joyful appreciation for the diverse experiences food brings into our lives.
5 Steps to Help Your Teen Go From Food Obsession to Food Freedom
1. Provide consistent meals and snacks
Establishing a structured routine for meals and snacks lays a foundation for stability, helping teens recognize and respond to their body’s natural hunger and satiety signals. Offering regular meal structure reduces the stress levels of not knowing when their next meal or snack will come. In turn, this can help prevent binge eating because they can anticipate another meal coming soon.
2. Avoid restriction
One might think that restricting food can help decrease the obsession. However, removing foods from the diet sends mixed messages to teenagers. Taking away foods that are “unhealthy” only creates guilt when they allow themselves to enjoy the food. Even if your teen is eating an appropriate volume of food for their body, but still restricts certain foods, obsession with food can still happen. When restriction is no longer present, neither is the threat of starvation.
3. Encourage intuitive eating
Intuitive eating is a non-diet approach that was created by registered dietitians, Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. Mindful eating says goodbye to the vicious cycle and negative impact of chronic dieting and emotional eating and hello to making peace with food. The journey toward becoming intuitive eaters is integral to this process. It empowers teenagers to honor their body’s needs, respecting its cues for hunger and fullness, and finding satisfaction in their food choices without guilt. This shift not only challenges diet culture but also rewrites the narrative around food as a source of nourishment and pleasure rather than a battleground of control and food restriction.
4. Let go of food rules
Two of the principles of intuitive eating include giving yourself unconditional permission to enjoy all types of foods and to reject the diet mentality. Talk with your teen to see if they follow any food rules that may be interfering with their ability to enjoy a variety of different foods. Even if your child doesn’t identify themself as a “dieter”‘, there may be certain messages from diet culture that keep them from food freedom. Examples include, not eating after 6 pm or identifying certain foods as “bad”. Help your child recognize these as internalized food rules created by diet culture. You can learn more about how to change the narrative here.
5. Lead by example
We’re our own worst critic. Accepting compliments about body image feels strange. But what’s even harder is allowing ourselves to compliment our own bodies. Making comments about our body size or features we would like to change on a regular basis sends the message that those qualities are unacceptable.
If you have a curvy figure, odds are, your teenager may also have a curvy figure. Negative comments about features that can’t be changed can make body image acceptance difficult for your teen. These beliefs about body image are internalized at a young age. Rather than focusing on the negative physical features, aim to comment based on personality. The good news is that healing your own relationship with food and body not only benefits you but also has a positive impact on your child.
Supporting Your Teen Through the Journey
Navigating the path to food freedom through gentle nutrition with your teen requires more than just guidance—it needs your empathy and active support. Encourage dialogues that allow your teen to explore their feelings and the complexities of their negative relationship with food. Need more support? Schedule a 1:1 appointment with me, a registered dietitian, for tailored support to help your child experience food freedom and a positive body image.
